Not too long ago, I went with my mom and grandma for moms shots to complete her CNA vaccinations. The nurse at the health department was a very friendly lady who took pride in her job......She also loved giving shots, drawing blood, giving vaccines. To E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E. And while tending to my mom, she set her sights on me~ an innocent bystander! After a series of direct, intrusive questions and trying to find my medical records in her directory (which failed because I'm from Kentucky and Florida, not Georgia, so none of my records are here), she then decided that I needed ALL of the vaccinations available to her syringe filled hands. I steadily declined all of them, slowly becoming convinced of this woman's obvious unstable mental status, until she became adamant about one vaccine imparticular~ The Whooping Cough Vaccine. What was most interesting was her line of reasoning~ out of nowhere she states, "It's for the child!" "What child?!" I ask.
her:"Yours!"
me:"I don't have a kid!"
her:"Well, you might one day!"
me:"I'm not doing anything to get one!"
her:"You might slip up!"
me:"No, I won't~ not. a. chance."
her:"But it's for the child!"
me:"Alright, how about this~ when/IF I get married, I'll come and get the vaccine before the honeymoon so the child isn't in danger!"
Now, I can commend someone being passionate about their job. HOWEVER- this was way out of bounds for the lady to make demands, conclusions, anything outside of offering the vaccine. And this is one of the examples of people assuming that since I'm young and female, my goal must be to get married, settle down and have half a dozen children...
I have had the joy of meeting and greeting many people and becoming friends with them. However, some of the very first questions asked of me are always along the lines of "Oh~ are you married? Kids? Plans?" And I wish there was a simple way of just telling people~ "NO! No, I am not married, no, I have no plans on getting married, no I have no children, and NO I do not want any children." I am able to rephrase this in a more tactful response, but their reply is nevertheless the same~ "Hmmm, you say that now. You'll change your mind sweetheart." Really? A marriage and children would not only interrupt my career, but also my education. There are things, jobs, places I have dreamed of going, doing and seeing. And it's not that I don't value marriage, children and being a stay at home mom~ I do. Those are great callings and careers in themselves. However, it has never been something I dreamed of. (well, getting married, yes, at times. Children, not much-if any- and staying at home? Never, never, never, never. Never in my wildest dreams and imaginations, and believe me, there have been some pretty wild ones!)
So is it really that odd to meet a young woman, age 20, completing an Associates degree and wanting to continue her education to the top~ along with pursuing a career? It is nearly impossible to live your life with no regrets, but I do hope I will be among the blessed few who have little to no regret when I reach the end of my life. I have told many, and I apply this more often to myself, "Know your strengths, know your weaknesses. Know your boundaries." I started college without knowing my strengths. I knew without a shadow of doubt what my weaknesses where, but I had no idea of my strength~ my inner strengths and giftings and goals that God had already placed within me. I had no idea of my own potential. Praise the Lord that I have come a long way from that, thanks to a mom who pushed and an advisor who always believed in me. They are both strong women of courage who have inspired me to be the best I can be, and to reach for the stars. Philippians 4:13 says that I can do all things through Christ who is the one who strengthens me. So if I have Him, what can stop me? From being my best? Defying stereotypes? And going against the flow in a way that changes perspectives and changes my life. Even better, it may have the power to change another life along the way.
~*~RETRACTION~*~
February 20, 2012
Though I do not regret any of what I have stated here, (especially my opinion of nosey-busy body nurses), I do need to print a slight retraction. When this was written, my family had just gone through an intense divorce- not as bad as some, not as gentle as others. It was an expected end to a long and hard period of time for each of us. However, it took a hit on the romantic at heart that I am, and I made a resolve to make it without a man. There is nothing wrong with that resolve. There is nothing absolutely wrong with serving God as a single female (or male, as you have it). God has called some to that, and as for me, I do not know what He has called me to in that area. After going to the mission trip to Hong Kong, the Lord softened my stubborn heart towards love, and I realize that having a partner is beneficial. (That sounded extremely sterile, I know, and it was not meant that way!) God made marriage to be a beautiful creation, it is just not something I have really been able to witness to in my lifetime. I say all of this to say one thing~ although I do not appreciate the sentiment of those who believe I must become 'hitched' to do God's will for my life, if God were to bring a true Prince Charming into my life, I will not turn him away as quickly as I would have when I wrote this post. Actually, when I wrote this post, I more than likely would have shunned him! Some friends of mine asked me this question before I left for my trip:
"Do you want to follow God's for your life?"
"Of course."
"And what if God's will is a husband?"
"Ha! Well, God and I would have to have a L-O-N-G discussion on that."
"You would tell Him no? You would tell God, No?"
.......
Good questions. And I had the wrong answer. My answer now, is His will be done. Whatever His plan for me, that is what I want. Now, I admit, I am still stubborn, and I will possibly drag my feet VERY slowly if/when that relationship occurs. To make sure it is the right one. Because it is for life, not for a frolic. I need a man that will be able to forge through as a missionary and never think twice about it. Someone who places God on a higher position than themselves, and their families above themselves as well. A man who knows where and what he is doing in life, has goals that I can be proud of, and be able to know when to hold me, when to push me, and when to make me laugh. Someone I can stand next to and be proud to be a wife. Not to have to make excuses for. To support and encourage and give strength to when the times get rough. Te serve as a unit of O.N.E. If I ever marry, that is the kind of relationship I want.
You can see now why I was so stubborn. Too complicated!
~*~Leave a Legacy That Will Make a Difference Around You~*~
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