God MyFather

Most of you who keep up with my blog know that I come from a very broken home and family history. I do not know of a time within the last several generations when my family was not touched by being broken. Through this, I know my family does not truly know how to love and by consequence, neither do I. I do not know what pure love is because it has never been correctly demonstrated in my life. One of my worries as I have become an adult has been that I will not know how to love others, both in friendships and in a husband & wife relationship. It is something I have prayed and struggled with God over. This past week, He has really spoken to me about Him being my Father and His love for me. I would like to share with you about my heart. Literally.
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While singing a song about our destiny in Christ, I could picture myself standing in front of my destiny, protecting it from the Enemy. He told me that I did not have the strength or power to protect those things I love most: such as my family, friends, my church, students and my destiny. God said that it is through Him I have strength to defeat the Enemy who wishes to destroy those things. Later, during prayer in class, God showed me a picture of what my heart looked like. One part was black from sin, another was cloud-like and beautiful which represented my dreams and desires, then there were bullet holes in the other part of my heart, representing past hurts and unhealed wounds. Stamped across the heart was the word PAIN. I wept as God asked me what I wanted to do about it. I told Him I wanted healing, but I then asked Him if it would hurt. He said yes, it would hurt, but He would be walking with me through it all. I asked for prayer from one of the YWAM staff and seen in my mind that God was holding my heart in His hands. The next day, during worship, He showed me another picture of my heart in His hands. He took one of His hands and moved it over my heart as if peeling back the injured layer, revealing a clean, fresh heart underneath. Then yesterday, during my Quiet Time, I was reading in Psalms 85 and the verse about His 'steadfast love'. I was surprised that He had led me to Psalms, but when I read that verse, I knew I had to look further into what 'steadfast love' meant. After doing a search in my iPad Bible concordance, I seen quickly why He wanted to show me this. There were nearly 200 references to the Father's steadfast love and as I read through some of them, I began to learn about true love~

Steadfast Love:
Psalm 85:7- God's steadfast love
Jonah 2:8- the worship of false things (focus off of God) destroys the hope of steadfast love
Joel 2:13- The steadfast love of God is faithful
Lamentations 3:22- It is never ending
Isaiah 54:10- It is always there, we are never alone
Proverbs 20:28- God rules by steadfast love, so we do not have to fear condemnation, but rather accept His grace and Salvation
Psalm 147:11- God takes pleasure in those who hope in His steadfast love
Psalm 147:8/144:2- It is the character of God
Psalm 143:12- It protects us
Psalm 138:8- Helps us to fulfill our purpose in Him
Psalm 136:23- His steadfast love remembers us

Wow. I did not understand why He was howling me this until I was in class again later and we were all praying for one another. As I shared with them about what God had shown me, I asked in my heart why God has been showing me all these things about love and His being my Father. I knew about love, had studied it before and taught lessons on it. Why the emphasis? The He reminded me of how in my testimony I had said I came from a family that did not know how to show true love because they had never really experienced it for themselves either. God said that He was revealing to me what true love is and His heart for me. He would teach me and renew my own heart to be healed again from the past. He loves me more than life and He will never leave me, I am never alone and He hears me. This has been spoken to me several times. Once, a few months before I flew out here to Hong Kong, by a lady at Coastal Georgia Tres Dias (an awesome Christian retreat with an intense encounter with God). She had told me God wanted me to know that I am not alone. Then, this past week, one of our Mission Builder guys who had been here for Christmas Outreach as well said he God had show him a picture of me praying and crying. He the said that God wanted me to know that I am not alone and He hears my cry.

God is an amazing redeemer of broken things. He is an awesome teacher and beautiful Savior of the lost. He speaks, all the time, if we would just listen to Him. His heart is that of a true Father, with a steadfast love. Thank you for letting me share with you just some of what God has been speaking to me this first week of the Discipleship Training School.

~*~Leave a Legacy that will Make a Difference in the World Around You.~*~