Courage OverFear

I never used to fry.

You heard me right. This lil southern gal used to be scared to death of oil in the kitchen. As much as I adored french fries, I could never bring myself to actually fry them myself. I'd always beg my mother and sister to do it for me, due to my inescapable fear of being burned to death by the piping hot oil. The fear was not unfounded, as I had always seemed to get popped by the oil if I wandered too close. I avoided it at all costs, and that fear is largely why I never applied for a job at a fast food place. Can you imagine? SURROUNDED by hot oil. Not the good kind. Uh uh. No way. No thanks.

However, tonight as I prepared my late dinner after a well deserved nap, I suddenly realized with a startle that I was casually dropping fries into the oil with no hesitation. The oil was ready and I was hungry. This isn't the first time in the past few months that I've done this, but it is the first time I've noticed it. I was amazed as I looked back on the memory of the fearful teenager who refused to even enter the kitchen sometimes, or even risk burning dinner if it meant waiting for someone else to come tend to the frying foods.

This isn't the first time a former fear has casually been dismissed. When I was around 15 years old, my mom would take me with her to door-to-door witnessing to neighborhoods in our Georgia town. Every neighborhood.
Including the ghetto ones.
This little snowflake.
In the hood.

I was scared.
For so many reasons! I remember praying as we rounded the corner near a drug house and an old man yelled and waved a cane with a sharp object on the bottom it towards us (he was slightly not right in his head...). By the end of the conversation, he was inviting us to come back anytime, but I begged my mom to never make me go there again. All I could think of was us getting shot.

A short five or so years later, I walked an entire block in the ghetto over to my friend's house. His dad even told me that I stood out a bit that area and to be careful, but I had no fear of it anymore. Caution, yes. Fear, no. I wasn't crippled with it like I had previously been. I was well equipped with mace, pocket knife, and cell phone, and at the time, a killer pair of heels.

I say all this to say~ fears can fade and grow into a great courage. From the simple freedom of frying foods to the freedom of being able to walk where you need to, I've grown a lot from the meek girl I once was. I wonder now if 15 year old me would even recognize me if we were to time travel and hang out. Would she be encouraged, or be more afraid? Would she grow quicker, or crawl into her bed and listen to BarlowGirl to make it better? Perhaps she would pull out her old typewriter and start a novel based on the stories I tell. Degree in Criminal Justice? No way. Work at juvie, me, never! Seriously, travel across the world by myself and walk the streets of Hong Kong with a familiarity that I've only ever had in my house? Never gonna happen.

Guess what little girl?
It did.
Look at you.
All grown up.
Brave.
Courageous.
Walking with less fear than you could ever imagine.
I'm so proud of that young teenager.
To have the courage to change.
To have the guts to step out of her comfort zone, time and time again.
To believe that God really could use her.
To constantly try and help others and oddly enough, forgive those who have made a practice of hurting her. Even to the point of reaching out offers of restoration, despite rejection, in order to bring healing and closure to pains of the past.

Less than ten years from those fears, and I've come so far.

Imagine the next ten years.

#empire #ruletheworld #legacy

I would love to hear your own stories of how you've overcome fear. What used to hold you down, but now you relish in the freedom with courage? Comment and share!
Also, I am close to being through with research on clients of prostitution. My laptop passed away and I had to replace it, so that stunted research and the newsletter. It will be ready ASAP, so if you would like to read my findings, please comment/email your email address to me and I'll add you to the subscribers.

Peace & Blessings
Ashley