DeathKiss

Wrecks.

I hate them.

I have never been in one where I knew so clearly I would die.

My car jumped a ditch, hit two trees and bent a pole in half.

I'm alive.

I'm not broken.

My thought process got jumbled and chaotic and all I knew was that when people hit trees with cars, they die. So I must be dying.

Once my car finally stopped moving, and I realized I wasn't dead, I jumped out of my car. I was afraid death would change its mind....

You see... I have a legacy to leave.

And my first thought after I knew I would die was the thought that I wasn't okay with that.

Now, I may catch a lot of flack from that statement from my Christian friends. I understand that. However, stay with me on this.

I've always been a proponent of Paul when he spoke about it being more for God's glory for us to be here on earth. I know I haven't completed my mission that I've been created to do, and therefore, it isn't alright for me to leave this world. I'm supposed to be alright with my purpose not being fulfilled.

So I'm not.

I refuse to settle and I refuse to stop pushing and fighting for the legacy that is burdened in my heart. No matter how hard I get hit in life, I won't stop moving forward. Whether I trip myself up or others do it, I'll keep moving forward. My journey is not something I will allow to be cut short by circumstances that I can influence. My God is a good Father and good provider. My family and friends are there for encouragement and influence. If for nothing else, to believe in me.

If I had hit the ditch any differently, I would have rolled or flipped.

If the airbags had deployed, my neck would have been snapped.

If the car had rolled and I managed to not die from that, the glass top table I was toting in the backseat would have decapitated me. (The glass top had detached during impact).

If I had hit a pole one foot away that was cemented into the ground, my car could have exploded.

The wreck left me with a renewed appreciation for life (and larger cars). It also left with the slightest of bruises which has refused to leave. A cut on my chin which healed within a day but left a stripe that hasn't gone away....it's my kiss from death as a reminder. Death touched me and I walked away. Unharmed. Blessed. Favored.

Full of purpose.
Full of life.
Ready to go.

To my family and friends that helped me walk through this time- thank you.
For those of you who didn't know about it....well....now you do. Sorry. It's been over a month now. I was trying to keep it low key and avoid attention from it. Not to mention make sure everything was taken care of.

I am just fine and everything has been taken care of. :-)

Peace & Blessings
Ashley