Shattering the Glass

None of us are perfect, yet somehow, we always seem to place those around us on varying levels of pedestals. For those who are actively in ministry, not only are we on a pedestal, we are also in a fish bowl. People watch our every move, decision, hesitation, and opinion. None of us ask to be placed there, but once we are aware of it, we do our own part in building upon the facade. The fall from a broken fish bowl or being knocked down from a pedestal is harsh and unforgiving. We do our best to maintain our status, for fear of the reaction to reality.

I have a friend who is so transparent in her blog that I envy her. People expect nothing less than her gut-wrenching honesty about her struggles in life. I have never had that same expectation, as I am titled as the "classy, goodie-two-shoed, naive, sweetheart". The expectations pushed upon me are very different, as I am looked upon to be an example and to have it all together. 

I'm writing this post to shatter the glass.

I am neither perfect, nor a failure. I may be classy, but can sailor it with the best of them. I know more than you think, and I'm rougher than a sweetheart. I have sinned without knowing or understanding, and I have also consciously chosen to do wrong. I am not infallible, but then again, nether is anyone else. I'm concrete and grace: Yes, I've fallen down, but I've also gotten back up again. I have a hidden madness that most rarely see, and the reason I don't share my struggles is because of the false expectation of perfection. I taught Sunday School from the time I was 18 till I left for Hong Kong, and the past year I spent serving in the field. Despite that, I have made my fair share of mistakes which has given me reason to regret certain choices, but also has gifted me with a passionate heart of the realization of God's grace. 

I am a transformation in progress. I have much to learn. I request each of you that is reading this to begin to make a conscious choice to no longer place people to higher expectations than you have for yourselves. This is neither fair, nor Godly, as we all have our struggles, and never asked to be placed higher than anyone else. So often, it is these expectations that prevent us from really getting the help we need. While speaking with some friends a few months ago, a thought came to me. The church is called to be real, but we cannot be real, because we do not love unconditionally. We are a body of believers, and when a part of us becomes weak, we should not amputate it as a disgrace, but rather embrace it and help to heal it. Sometimes the healing comes quickly, other times, it may take months. Whatever the reason or cause for the wound, whether self inflicted or not, as a body, we should fight to protect one another, and to rise up when something goes wrong. 

Stop placing people in these precarious places. 

Start being a body.

Become a real family.

Peace & Blessings

Ashley