Unknown Sacrifices

Too often we are judged by those whom do not know the paths we have walked. Too often those same people assume they have wearied through worse trials than those of us who look less weather -worn. It is as if a status of marriage or of children or of age alone is enough to make one more worthy of knowledge of how to navigate though life's commands. Surely, if these poor unfortunate ones have not been granted access to blessings, why should those who appear less traveled and trialled be granted those other same such blessings?

As I was being told of my upcoming schedule at my new worksite by a fellow coworker, I expressed that I had a previous engagement that I had promised to attend. It was of utmost importance, and I stated how I must make remedy the scheduling conflict. Barely concealing the disdain in her voice, my new coworker attempted to explain to me that since I now had a job, sometimes you must break promises because it is expected. She continued that she was a mother of a young child, and though she wished to be there for her at all times, her job often had to take precedence. She concluded that I must learn this invaluable pain, despite my protests. It was obvious that she valued anything I could have going on in life as less important than her own, since she had a child and a family to care for. Never did it cross her mind that I am far more well aware of 'sacrificing' for a 'job' than she may ever be.

I lived overseas for a year, causing me to consistently miss graduations, weddings, birth announcements, events, holidays, birthdays, celebrations, and other memory making occasions that we all enjoy from time to time, yet each take for granted. I know what it is to send late or early birthday wishes because I will be in a sensitive location for two months, with no contact with the western world. I know what it is to stay up past 2am, waiting to place a call during a friend's lunch break so I could retain some sort of connectin with the life I had left behind. Even more, I know what it is to turn down the most precious of invitations, due to the fact I had to be out of the country to serve those I had been called to serve. 

The time I am spending in the States is not for me to settle down into a job and live to work. No. Indeed, my job is my last priority. People are my first. I want to go back to Hong Kong with memories of those I love, and relationships built solidly. I did not take the time to do this before I left the last time, and I assure you, I shall not make the same mistake again. I made a promise to a young lady that I would be at her graduation. I had taught her in Sunday School since she was 14 years old, and have had the honor of watching her blossom into a lovely leader. To me, seeing her on occasion at church isn't enough to show the commitment that I believe in her and love her. I need to show people that they are my priority~ because truly, in my heart, they are. 

I am doing my very best to be with my people and do all I can to be of assistance while in the States. Whether that means scrubbing paint off floors (looking at you, Fully), attending a graduation (congratulations, Alyssa), going to weekly fellowships at my home church (hello to the young adults group), or driving to Metter and Statesboro to invest in a new family (shout out at the Keas and Haddens), I am pouring myself into relationships that I hope will last a lifetime. I have done this with some who have proved not fruitful, but that decision was theirs to make, not mine. I am only responsible for choosing to love, regardless of the reception. A love that is deep and intentional, strong and kind. I have not perfected this art of loving, but I am all in, 100%.

So the next time you try to belittle someone else's walk on this earth, take a second to find out where they've been. It just might surprise you.

Peace & Blessings

Ashley