What makes the heart of a lioness roar?
This is a stirring question to myself, as I have become intimately aware of who I am and what my personality is. Among my friends they know the inner struggle I have had for years concerning such qualities about myself. This ongoing battle between strong or weak, bold or meek has been constant. Within the past year, however, I have persistently sought answers as to who I really am on the inside and why I am this way. Coming to terms with my family history, my upbringing, as well as personal experiences, I have become the person I am today~ for better or worse.
For those of you who don't know me overly well but do read my blog, this is the chance for you to get a little insight into who the typist behind the words is.
I am:
INTJ: introverted.intuitive.thinking.judging. What this means is I have introverted intuition with extroverted thinking. I am also 49% introvert and 51% extrovert. I have a non-linear thinking pattern, whereas most Americans/Westerns cultures have linear thinking patterns. INTJ's have difficulty directly translating their thoughts and ideas to others, but do strive to give an idea and perception that others can easily understand. I am both adaptable and objective when in leadership roles, however, many times lead from the background rather than a platform (preference). This personality type spends a lot of time within their own mind, therefore giving off a sense that they are not really in touch with others in a way desired by others. INTJ's work at this, believe me that I do, because I want people to know I care and understand. This is not always communicated clearly, and often times forgotten. An interesting fact is less than 2% of the female population of the United States have the INTJ personality type, and just over 2-4% of the male population have it. We are the most rare in personality types.
Leo: (I am not a huge horoscope fan, but I do find it interesting how accurate this was, so this is the reason I include this part of personality identity.) Leo's often have issues with lack of trust, pride, and independence. A natural knack for being inspirational leaders as well as a strong distaste for being controlled. I am very ambitious, and despite obstacles, will overcome any if there is purpose behind it. Leo's know no fear when roused to a fight of whatever type, and often do not know or acknowledge when they meet with defeat. This sign yearns for purpose and passion, and when not involved in such, can easily become despondent and melancholy (true). Also, they overwork their brains, so they often crave rest due to overexertion (true). True on all counts, actually, haha. Strange, isn't it?
God has created me to be a unique individual, who needs alone time as well as community, something I've only truly grasped within the past year. I have times of being quiet and loud, funny or serious. My personality is a combination of opposites, creating within me an odd paradox of emotions and how I handle them. I attribute this to many things, but in the end, this is who I am. I was once complemented as being described as a mirage, which is an attribute i right because the last thing i want to be considered is an untouchable being. My greatest strength is my inner strength, which for years I didn't realize I had and many times grew tired of people telling me I would be alright because I was strong. It is often the strong ones who are never helped, but I praise God for the strength He placed within me. My greatest weakness just might be my interdependence, but this is something I'm working on, with friends and mentors, so who knows what my greatest weakness is now, haha. Perhaps a fear of failure, that just might be it. I speak in tongues and have done worship dance for over ten years, yet attend a conservative Nazarene church and am a missionary with a non-denominational organization. I'm a five foot chick from the 'right side' of the tracks who does outreach on the streets and refuses to back down in the face of injustice. I stand toe to toe to those who tick me off and I accept responsibility for my own stupidity without accepting condemnation from others. I'm honest to a fault, but am as tactful as a politician looking for reelection (unless stronger words are needed, or I become fed up with babying everything). I'm tolerant of imperfections but not in being impassionate about life. I hold myself to higher standards than most, and my own worst enemy is myself, as well as my strongest critic (although some of my family rival for that spot).
So back to the question: what makes the heart of a lioness roar?
Life. Injustice. Fear. Trouble. Pain. Raw vulnerability. Open honesty. Loyal compassion.
Show me reality and my heart will respond. Show me inspirations and my heart will reply. Tug at me with hope, drench me in mercy, and surely, this heart will be running to be a part of whatever happens. My hearts roars to life when others are taken advantage of or when I see a person that is broken. In a second, I'll cover them in protection and shield them from the attacks as best I can. Unaware of my own slight stature, I rise to any challenge when at the defense of others. This is the greatest strength God has placed within me, this is a calling I have always shown.
What makes your heart roar?
Peace & Blessings
Ashley
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