Vulnerable

Oh the struggle to be vulnerable. We all have it, though some more than others. It is a hard thing to allow someone into your innermost mind. To see the monsters, the fears, the mistakes. It is even difficult for some to share their dreams, hopes, and ideas. We fight with the fear, and too often give into it. At some point in most our lives, our trust has been broken, and we learn to not be vulnerable. What's more, wea re taught by those around us to not be vulnerable and to suspect everyone. We have raised a generation of critics, doubters, and negativity. Is it no wonder that missions is ignored, and the homeless go unnoticed?

I have recently been at battle with the struggle to trust. You see, I have many examples of people I have trusted and been brutally disappointed by them in whom I placed that trust. Worse, I allowed myself to not be vulnerable to none but a few people. You see, to love, you must become vulnerable. Yet there is also the threat of that vulnerability being rejected, used, or ignored. When our few moments of vulnerability and trust is misused, many of our immediate responses is to completely shut down and vow to never allow our hearts to touch another soul again.

This is not what we a asked to do, by Christ. He calls us to a deeper relationship, not only with Him, but with others. Though the threat is huge, the reward is greater. The unity and strength that occurs after we allow others to see our wounds and victories is amazing. There is a simple, blessed beauty that radiates from such occurrences.

Though this is a shorter blog post, it is something that has been omy mind recently....to continue to trust others, despite being disappointed so many times...to be vulnerable, even if it hurts and others ignore it....this is the hard part of the calling, more than anything else, for me. To love others beyond measure, regardless of their reaction.

I will always strive to love, no matter the response. I will be who I am, and faithfully follow after the Father. I am not faultless, nor am I humble. I am honest, guarded, fearful, yet strong. Despite the inner struggle to allow anger and hurt to control my actions, I chose rather to be ruled by love, to continue to  trust and to be vulnerable. 

It is a difficult choice to make.

But it is one I am proud to have made.

Peace & Blessings

Ashley

~*~Leave a Legacy that will Make a Difference in the World Around You.~*~

Esther

                        

      

Can you imagine the fear Hadassah felt as she was led through the palace? Her first night away from all she loved and held dear, her heart must have surely shattered in a million pieces. Maybe she felt like disappearing into the walls....wishing for an end to a torment forced upon her. Maybe she encouraged the other girls or was the one needing encouraged. Whatever she was feeling, she continued to be strong, somehow. She gained favor with the head over the women and was brought to the "top of the class" so to speak. Those closest to her in captivity were also advanced. At some point, Hadassah transformed into Esther, the beautiful and confident. She realized she could not hold onto the past. The life she had once known would now no longer be hers. Her former dreams had died to give birth to new ones. 

At some point she had to realize this:

Her God had not abandoned her.

There was a purpose for this time in her life.

Her life was not over.

She was more than she ever thought she was.

God was present, even in the darkest hours of fear and confusion.

She needed to come out of this as a victor.

She needed favor.

God was going to give her strength.

She could not change what happened.

She could only control how she reacted.

Even though nothing looked okay, Hadassah chose to believe a miracle would happen. 

At different times in our life, the stories we read have different feelings and meanings. We can identify with different aspects of them. I started to read Esther again today after being encouraged by a woman of God to read through some of the strong women in the Bible. In the coming months I look forward with not only sharing with stories from outreach, but also what the Lord is ministering to me about. Today, He spoke Truth to me about no matter how dark or confusing life might appear to be, He is still with us and He has the light to shine in even the darkest places. 

Peace & Blessings

Ashley

~*~ Leave a Legacy That Will Make a Difference in the World Around You.~*~