Walking With God's Wrecking Ball: CompletelySurrendered

                        

       

I walked away. From my job. House. Dog. Boyfriend. Church.

For  some painfully odd reason, it's ok. I have a strange peace, even as it tears my heart. I loved my job (in general), I loved my dog (still can't find a home for her), I loved living by myself (though it was too big), I loved my boyfriend (though we were going different directions), and I loved my church (even if I felt I didn't quite fit). I loved it all, yet none fit as I horribly became overwhelmed with stress, fear, and separation. Stress with my job because I had no time to spend with people I cared about. Fear of not being able to return to Hong Kong when I had planned. Separation from actively being involved in ministries. Burdened by this, I knew I had to make a change. A drastic change. 

So I'm leaving. I'm leaving Georgia for a sabbatical, and making choices to reflect what I need and want in life. I need a rest. My stress had reached the level of creating pains in my heart and lungs, resulting in me getting an EKG and lab work done. My frustration of not being able to be with people and my church expanded, and the days since I've resigned my position have been beautiful, because I've actually been able to plan activities at night to be with my peeps. It was so refreshing and reinvigorating. I haven't had but one or two pains since then. I'm going to Kentucky and Chicago in order to rest, pray, job hunt, and seek God as to what this new season has for me. Among all of this, I have lost some very precious parts of my life, and it is more painful than I imagined. Yet I will push on, because I know there is a greater good, and I'm stripping down to basics. 

The other night,at a bonfire held for the youth group, I surrendered my idea (again) of what normal would look like. And with yet another bruised heart for this year, I look forward to a brighter day, and to one full of healing and hope. This is one of the hardest moves I have made, and it's not understood by many. Yet I seek not to please others, but only my God. I can say with assurance that I've done everything to the best of my ability, though for some that may never be good enough. I may be broken, and by accident, I may break others along the way, but it has certainly never been my intention.

The title of this, walking with God's wreaking ball, speaks to surrendering to the trials and 'interruptions' in life. For years I have struggled and fought against surrender. Last year, I began a true process of surrendering to God and His plan on my life. This year, I learned valuable lessons which have led me to the throne room of God in a humble, yet joyous, state of surrender. I no longer howl and wail as the wreaking ball turns my life inside out and upside down. I walk with it, allow it, assist in it. Sometimes, you have to do what you have to do. This is the season of life I am in. 

I am now doing everything I can to live the life I want, one that brings honor to God and others. There is so much more to life than just a job and settling. I don't believe He ever meant for us to settle. He speaks of an abundant life, and I want to live life more abundantly. To do that, it will take action on my part. To turn from doing the same thing, and instead make a change. Life-changing changes. I want a great life, not by size or stature, but a great life that I can look back on in pride and joy. Realistically, I may never be the soccer mom with a townhouse. Honestly, it's never been my dream. But if I can reach a ripe old age and be the crazy aunt who has trunks full of adventure, stories, inspirations, souvenirs, and precious treasures from around the world, it would be worth the sacrifices. I want the next generation to be influenced by the life I live. I desire my teens, family, and friends, to look at my life and know that I did life fully. Fully and completely, for God and others. I don't know what the future holds. At the very least, may I be the crazy aunt with the mysterious smile, always ready with a story about the people she has given her life to love and serve in the name of her Savior. 

Peace & Blessings

Ashley 

Leave a legacy that will make a difference in the world around you.

This is "Completely" by Among the Thirsty. It is a beautiful song, and one I closely identify with at this season in my life. I will be posting more, with other songs that have been impressed upon my heart as they occur. Blessings, and enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQ0JS9w6a1c&feature=youtube_gdata_player

A Lasting Embrace

       

         

There are some moments that only those who travel away from 'home' will understand. Such moments are those when you wish a goodbye and linger in an embrace, never knowing when you will once again see someone you are departing from. The emotions are almost indescribable, and nearly unbearable. It as if you are tearing your very own soul as you leave. I've heard it said "love don't cost a thing" but surely that must be one of the biggest falsehoods in recent history. Love costs everything~ your life, breath, hopes and dreams. I have gone from being in contact with no family to being overwhelmed with family members that I desire to keep in contact with in some way. Most of all in these recent restorations is the return of my brother, my real brother, into my life. I was amazingly blessed to not only speak with him on the phone, not only have a lunch face to face with him, but to spend an entire weekend with him as both of us attended a surprise birthday party/family reunion for our Grandmother on our dad's side. Neither of us had been back to that side of the family in over a decade. 

Not knowing where to begin, we both dove in, tears first, into being reunited as brother and sister, something I've prayed for many times over, and all throughout my time overseas. We both have walked places we never thought we would, made mistakes we said would never be made, and both suffered harsh losses that resulted in poor decisions and depression. In the end though, somehow, we both have come out as stronger people and are learning how to readjust and reach out. We have been apart for so long, yet still, the blood thread that binds us as siblings has proven strong. We are fiercely loving, protective, understanding, and most of all, sorrowful of the time lost. 

If nothing else, the time I have spent away has taught me to treasure the time I am present. I believe my brother has learned this same thing throughout his own journey in life. Take nothing for granted. Love deeply. Invest in relationships with people that matter to you. Make people, not items, priorities. Fight for those you love, including time to spend with them. Life and time are far too precious and too soon stolen for us to hold petty grudges or give up on people we say are friends or family. I regret the years lost through family fighting and I regret the unwritten letters and undialed phone calls. Though I was only a child during those lost years, I refuse to make excuses now as to why I am not involved with family. I will love and reach out and try as best I can. 

This was the first step. The first of many.

Peace & Blessings

Ashley

~*~Leave a Legacy that will Make a Difference in the World Around You.~*~

Unknown Sacrifices

Too often we are judged by those whom do not know the paths we have walked. Too often those same people assume they have wearied through worse trials than those of us who look less weather -worn. It is as if a status of marriage or of children or of age alone is enough to make one more worthy of knowledge of how to navigate though life's commands. Surely, if these poor unfortunate ones have not been granted access to blessings, why should those who appear less traveled and trialled be granted those other same such blessings?

As I was being told of my upcoming schedule at my new worksite by a fellow coworker, I expressed that I had a previous engagement that I had promised to attend. It was of utmost importance, and I stated how I must make remedy the scheduling conflict. Barely concealing the disdain in her voice, my new coworker attempted to explain to me that since I now had a job, sometimes you must break promises because it is expected. She continued that she was a mother of a young child, and though she wished to be there for her at all times, her job often had to take precedence. She concluded that I must learn this invaluable pain, despite my protests. It was obvious that she valued anything I could have going on in life as less important than her own, since she had a child and a family to care for. Never did it cross her mind that I am far more well aware of 'sacrificing' for a 'job' than she may ever be.

I lived overseas for a year, causing me to consistently miss graduations, weddings, birth announcements, events, holidays, birthdays, celebrations, and other memory making occasions that we all enjoy from time to time, yet each take for granted. I know what it is to send late or early birthday wishes because I will be in a sensitive location for two months, with no contact with the western world. I know what it is to stay up past 2am, waiting to place a call during a friend's lunch break so I could retain some sort of connectin with the life I had left behind. Even more, I know what it is to turn down the most precious of invitations, due to the fact I had to be out of the country to serve those I had been called to serve. 

The time I am spending in the States is not for me to settle down into a job and live to work. No. Indeed, my job is my last priority. People are my first. I want to go back to Hong Kong with memories of those I love, and relationships built solidly. I did not take the time to do this before I left the last time, and I assure you, I shall not make the same mistake again. I made a promise to a young lady that I would be at her graduation. I had taught her in Sunday School since she was 14 years old, and have had the honor of watching her blossom into a lovely leader. To me, seeing her on occasion at church isn't enough to show the commitment that I believe in her and love her. I need to show people that they are my priority~ because truly, in my heart, they are. 

I am doing my very best to be with my people and do all I can to be of assistance while in the States. Whether that means scrubbing paint off floors (looking at you, Fully), attending a graduation (congratulations, Alyssa), going to weekly fellowships at my home church (hello to the young adults group), or driving to Metter and Statesboro to invest in a new family (shout out at the Keas and Haddens), I am pouring myself into relationships that I hope will last a lifetime. I have done this with some who have proved not fruitful, but that decision was theirs to make, not mine. I am only responsible for choosing to love, regardless of the reception. A love that is deep and intentional, strong and kind. I have not perfected this art of loving, but I am all in, 100%.

So the next time you try to belittle someone else's walk on this earth, take a second to find out where they've been. It just might surprise you.

Peace & Blessings

Ashley

Vulnerable

Oh the struggle to be vulnerable. We all have it, though some more than others. It is a hard thing to allow someone into your innermost mind. To see the monsters, the fears, the mistakes. It is even difficult for some to share their dreams, hopes, and ideas. We fight with the fear, and too often give into it. At some point in most our lives, our trust has been broken, and we learn to not be vulnerable. What's more, wea re taught by those around us to not be vulnerable and to suspect everyone. We have raised a generation of critics, doubters, and negativity. Is it no wonder that missions is ignored, and the homeless go unnoticed?

I have recently been at battle with the struggle to trust. You see, I have many examples of people I have trusted and been brutally disappointed by them in whom I placed that trust. Worse, I allowed myself to not be vulnerable to none but a few people. You see, to love, you must become vulnerable. Yet there is also the threat of that vulnerability being rejected, used, or ignored. When our few moments of vulnerability and trust is misused, many of our immediate responses is to completely shut down and vow to never allow our hearts to touch another soul again.

This is not what we a asked to do, by Christ. He calls us to a deeper relationship, not only with Him, but with others. Though the threat is huge, the reward is greater. The unity and strength that occurs after we allow others to see our wounds and victories is amazing. There is a simple, blessed beauty that radiates from such occurrences.

Though this is a shorter blog post, it is something that has been omy mind recently....to continue to trust others, despite being disappointed so many times...to be vulnerable, even if it hurts and others ignore it....this is the hard part of the calling, more than anything else, for me. To love others beyond measure, regardless of their reaction.

I will always strive to love, no matter the response. I will be who I am, and faithfully follow after the Father. I am not faultless, nor am I humble. I am honest, guarded, fearful, yet strong. Despite the inner struggle to allow anger and hurt to control my actions, I chose rather to be ruled by love, to continue to  trust and to be vulnerable. 

It is a difficult choice to make.

But it is one I am proud to have made.

Peace & Blessings

Ashley

~*~Leave a Legacy that will Make a Difference in the World Around You.~*~

RLD: Declaring Hope

                                     

     

Hope is not dead.

I love the moments in life when you so clearly hear the voice of God, it shakes your reality and gives you a glimpse into the depth of His heart and His love. I had a moment like this on outreach while walking in the red light district. The girls were set up in storage buildings or hole in the wall locations, with misleading signs as hair salons or massage parlors. Though this type of prostitution is frowned upon, it is not officially titled as prostitution in this country. Legally, there is no help for these young women to protect them from those who prey on innocent lives. At least, not yet. With prayer and influence, this can be changed, as we have seen it begin to change in Hong Kong. 

While walking, I felt an overwhelming sense of death. It was heavy and depressing. My spirit was saddened to the point of breaking and I asked God, "What is this? What died?" the answer I expected did not come. He did not tell me about a person or a people. Rather, He went to the root of the death. He said, "Ashley, hope died here." 

Hope. Dreams. Love. Everything and anything that gives breath to life. This revelation hit the same as if I had been running full speed and hit a brick wall. Not knowing what to say or how to pray, I asked the Creator what He had to say about this.....what was the truth?

"Hope Is Not Dead."

Did you read that?

HOPE Is Not Dead.

I don't think you are understanding this yet.

HOPE IS NOT DEAD!

There is life and joy and promises and a good God with good plans! There is healing and restoration to family and friends! There is hope! For all people! His desire is this! 

Hope is not dead!

Hope is not dead.

I spent the next hour declaring hope, life, and freedom over a place consumed with darkness, depression, and, yes, death. Partnering with God, we brought light. We pushed back the darkness. 

And you know what?

I believe it made a difference.

Since that time, those four words have not left my mind or my heart. If ever four words could 'preach', these are four words that can preach all by themselves.

Hope is not dead.

These are not just words for the girls who are trapped or the pimps who are deceived. These are words for all people who have ever felt like their hopes have died. Any person who has been abandoned and depressed. The ones who think life is over.

Hope is not dead.

God exists.

He loves YOU.

Peace & Blessings

Ashley

~*~ Leave a Legacy That Will Make a Difference in the World Around You.~*~

DestinyHouse and My HeartCry

The past few weeks, the Lord has really been speaking to me about my future in ministry here in Asia. He has grown and formed my passions and dreams into something very beautiful that I am excited to share with you!

Since before my first trip here in 2011, my heart has been towards orphans and the Red Light District. The Lord led me to start supporting ministries through my job income, and once I arrived in Hong Kong, I was blessed to be able to experience first-hand Red Light District ministry and school outreaches. The passion God had placed in my heart for Asia and these areas did not diminish, but instead grew even stronger. Since returning here in 2012/2013, I have had a chance every week to visit with girls in the Red Light District and learn how to minister, listen and treasure them. I have been praying and seeking for God's direction and guiding for the plan He has for my life on the mission field of Asia. Praise God, He has shown me so much in the past two weeks. This is the dream God has laid on my heart: A central focus ministry in the Red Light District in Asia.

Destiny House Foundation
Key Verse: Romans 8:29-30
Mission: Isaiah 61

My dream and hope is to eventually found a home where the girls can come and receive basic education and job skill training, along with Biblical discipleship and do outreaches with them throughout Asia and link them to local orphanages to restore true love. Some may ask- why is this your passion? Why is this your dream?

This Wednesday, we again went to the Red Light District ministry. It was an amazing night once again. Chuckie has been attending church regularly now and they even have a French class he can go to for hearing the gospel in his own language, which is a great blessing, and he even wants me to come to church with him. Remember the flowers God had me give him last week? Well, Chuckie has learned the beauty of "Pay it Forward" and ended up giving all of his flowers to ladies he met- one on the street, another one who was pregnant, and the pastors wife! He was sober this week as well. Praise God, we continue to pray he comes home to the Lord. I was able to speak to several of the other ladies from Uganda and got in a really good conversation with Titi, who is new here. She is very open and believes in God, and asks many questions. My friends spoke with several of the men in the area and shared the gospel with them, sat and listened to their stories and ministered. My one Indian girl I say hello to every week grabbed me and hugged me this night, calling me her friend. Out of all of this though and the testimonies to share, one story broke my heart. One story caused my tears to fall on the way back. One story- one statement- cemented the dream God has planted in my heart.

Anita, the one from Uganda who God gave the scarf to, was here tonight. She normally shows up every two weeks, so it was awesome to see her again. When I finally had the chance to greet her and say hello, she grabbed my hand and smiled, saying she read over the verses I had given her two weeks ago, the ones in Luke and Jeremiah about not being forgotten. Her eyes lit up and she said this:

"This was very encouraging! God cannot forgot about us because it is like a mother with her child. He cannot forget. He cannot, He will not forget. So maybe one day we will be free and it will be okay. It must be. We will be free and it will be okay."

I smiled and told her yes, one day, and that we are all praying for them there. She says yes and that they are praying for themselves as well.

My heart broke at the sound of her voice....it was full of faith, but full of desperation. Dare she hope for freedom? Dare she believe God has not forgotten about her? On the way back, it finally hit me and I shared with Kim. All I could think of was the Destiny House. I wanted to take Anita home, all of them home and wrap my arms around them and tell them how much the Father in heaven loves them! I wanted to help bring that freedom. Faith without actions is dead, and God has laid this so heavy on my heart. They must have a home. They must have freedom. God desires nothing less for these precious daughters. I started crying in the subway station, my arm wrapped in Kim's, saying over and over, "I want my house. I want them to be okay. God wants this!" I was upset that I was crying in the subway, Kim said I had a soft heart. I told her I did not want a soft heart. Gently, I heard God whisper to me, "You asked me for my heart. To break your heart for what breaks mine. What did you expect my heart to be like?" He said it out of a deep and loving understanding of how I was feeling. Overwhelmed by the grief and the hurting, yet yearning for restoration and justice. This is the place that birthed the Destiny House Foundation. This is what God's heart is. <3

I will be staying here in Hong Kong for the remainder of the year, to start getting connections, building the team for the Destiny House Foundation, while gaining experience in Red Light District ministry throughout Asia and the cultures I will be dealing with. I will also be in much prayer and asking the Lord on when He desires to step out and start this. I ask for your prayers and support as God leads me, us, on this journey, for more direction, wisdom and knowledge to walk after the way He reveals. I also ask that you pray what part of this ministry He wants you apart of as or if you know of an organization that would be helpful in accomplishing the heart of God!

~*~Leave a Legacy that will Make a Difference in the World Around You.~*~

NotForgotten

Isaiah 49:14-16
But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me;
my Lord has forgotten me.”
“Can a woman forget her nursing child,
that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?
Even these may forget,
yet I will not forget you.
Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
your walls are continually before me.

This last Wednesday we were blessed once again to minister at the Ching King Mansion red light district. This time was an an amazing, heartbreaking and touching time. Kim, Bryn and I (the students that join with the staff who are doing the red light district Sons and Daughters Ministry) had already felt God laying it on our hearts weeks ago to start just showering the love of the Heavenly Father on the girls there. He wanted to let them know His heart breaks for them and they are precious in His sight. So this week, we took some beautiful white flowers to the girls. However, this is not the start of the story that night.

Kim and I left early to go to Yuen Long for dinner, pick up some stationary items and choose the flowers for the ministry that night. Kim had not been feeling week during the day, but trooped on, ready for outreach that night. As dinner progressed though, so did her uneasy sickness feeling. I t grew worse until she told me thought she would not be able to go on outreach. We prayed, and realized that this could be an attack from the enemy to keep her from the outreach. We have been studying Spirit Warfare all week, which had truly made us more aware of the circumstances around us. We walked back to the subway and we kept praying. She decided that she would ride all the way to the place with me, and if she still felt bad, she would return to the base.

Two weeks ago, we spoke with a Ugandan woman, Anita, and this is when we felt God laying it on our hearts to just start showering these girls with gifts. I asked her what her favorite color was, light green, and for the next week, Bryn, Kim and I searched for a light green scarf. Finally, we found one. When we went back last week, Anita was not there. So we decided we would carry the scarf with us every week until we seen her again.

Kim was carrying the bag with the scarf but in the rush to get to the MTR (subway) we forgot to choose flowers to hand out to the girls that night. Once we arrived at the ETST station, Kim. Was still feeling badly, but we waited and she decided that she would come to the outreach anyways because of a testimony we had heard. During an outreach in India, the entire team had gotten sick and in a drama, the man playing Jesus on the cross ran off the stage because he had become sick, then came back and finished the drama. After that team left, within a week the elders of that area got saved and it has grown in the years since then.

Once we joined up with Bryn at the subway station and the staff, we all headed up to go pray, and stopped at the bathroom. We forgot the bag with the scarf in the bathroom and did not remember until we started to pray. Kim and I rushed back to the restroom, but it was not there. Thankfully, God had another plan! I had a beautiful green scarf I had just gotten. We also had time to stop at a market and buy the flowers, and the cashier let us borrow her scissors to put the stems shorter.

Anita was there that night, and the joy on her face when we gave her the scarf and the flower. We told her she was beautiful and precious in God's sight, and His heart is towards her. She smiled and we laughed and shared with one another stories. Her story is heartbreaking....Uganda is a warring state, with violence more than most of us can imagine. Anita has seen it all, worse, she has experienced it all. Yet she still clings to a faith in God. She believes there can be a change. She wants to go home and be a teacher, despite the war..despite they don't pay teachers. She has such a beautiful heart. The other women I talked to that night, Debbie and Iesha (also from Uganda) grabbed my hands and asked me to pray for them. I had just tried to get in a conversation with them, but they had not seemed interested, even after we gave them the flowers. When I had found out Debbie's name, I told her my mom's name is Deborah~ she laughed and said, "Maybe I am your mother!" All of the girls laughed as I said, "We'll, maybe, why not!" Suddenly, desperate, they asked for prayer. Debbie, the older woman, asked first for prayer for her children's school fees back in Uganda so they can have a future, then for happiness for herself. Iesha asked for prayer for her child and for her a way to go home. They both have such a mothers heart, I was honored to pray for them and then God laid it on my heart to share with them verses we had prayed over the Mainland earlier int he day during intercession that had seemed to 'stick' in my mind constantly. Debbie had me show her in my Bible what verses I was reading, as I read out loud, then both Debbie and Iesha had me write down the references, which Anita also asked for. They are so hungry for true love and truth. They desire freedom from these chains, but don't know how to get free. I don't know either. I pray for wisdom. I pray for help. It was a beautiful night of sharing! By the way, the passages from the Bible are Isaiah 49:14-16 and Luke 12:6-7.

We have a romantic old man from Tunisia that is always drunk when we are there. He is a nice drunk, very cheerful and helpful. Every week he seems to get more inebriated, if that is even possible. When he seen Bryn and I wight he flowers, he called out and asked for one. We stopped to talk to him, handing him a flower and telling him he is precious to God too. He smiled, and then said he wanted to kiss me. Isn't that precious? I laughed and said, no, no, no, this is from God, thank Him for it! We talked for a few more minutes before he started telling me a story. Chuckie, the man, is a Muslim. He once went to a Christian church and he was telling me they had said something he did not like. I asked him what it was. He replied, "They said that Jesus was God's son. He is not. God does not have a son. They cannot say this. This is not truth. I know." I shook my head and told him, "Chuckie, I believe in Jesus." He told me no, I cannot, it is not right. We talked for another minute or two before he finally just looked at me after I told him Jesus had spoke to me and said to give them the flowers and said, "You're crazy. No. You're crazy. I talk to you later. Next week. Crazy girl." Bryn and I walked away, but Chuckie would not let me talk to him the rest of the night, only "shushing" me whenever I spoke to him. Interestingly enough, he started crying after that conversation, so maybe there is more to his story than the alcohol is letting on.

Other than these testimonies, we have a great week of studying Spirit Warfare with the base leader, Joe. Spirit Warfare is basically prayer. You become more aware of who God is, who/what the enemy is and how to handle that- through prayer. It is powerful because it calls out to God for His strength and declares who He is. Great week, great stories during the lecture times! A great time in class was the last day when we prayed over the village with praise and worship and declaring truth. It was amazing and we continue to pray for the village, future outreach to mainland and for the people we meet.

Prayer Requests:
Health- some have been struggling with sickness this week. :-(
Unity
God's guidance
Gift of learning and revelation in class
Also, tomorrow, the staff of the base and a visiting team for Norway have an outreach at a temple Street, so please keep them in your prayers! Our very own Grace, from the DTS is translating, so pray a blessing over her!

A NewJourney

"..our heart is restless until it rests in you." ~ St. Augustine

Happy New Year!

2012. There are many words that could describe my path in the past year. Joyful. Tumultuous. Exciting. Hard. Opposites, yes, I know. When I returned from Hong Kong after Christmas Outreach of 2011, I had felt strongly that I was supposed to return immediately for my Discipleship Training School within the same month I had returned. I had no funds, except enough to get myself back to Hong Kong. I was less than a month from my college graduation, teaching teen sunday school, children's drama/dance at my church, helping my mom out with finances and I had a job that was patiently waiting for my return. Common sense said to stay and wait. My heart said to go. Logic said to raise all the funds. God said not to worry. In the end, I did stay in America for the year. I worked, I taught, I graduated and I helped. I also struggled, fought, changed jobs then lost my job. No words can describe the many other underlying issues that arose out of each situation. Each one harder than the last. Each one more frustrating and painful. So many trials in the year 2012, a year I would never repeat, no matter the money you could offer me. Yet it is this last year that God had such a gentle grace to speak gently to me and encourage me to continue on to what He called me to do. Through simple acts of kindness by friends or church members, I was reminded that I was not alone. When preparing to come back to Hong Kong, the Lord asked me, "Will you still go without the funds?" I was nervous and did not respond. After all, one of the reasons I hadn't returned so quickly was because I had no money. Surely God wouldn't send me without the finances! Yet when I spoke at a church event and seen the low numbers, I knew I was going to have to step out on faith. "Yes, I will go even if I don't have the funds." Even two weeks before flying back, when I was looking around my church and wondering how I would ever make it, He spoke to me and said simply, "I am your Provider." So this time, I came. Without logic, common sense or any idea of how God was going to come through for me. 2012 was a year in faith and trust building. I knew how to trust Christ when I have lacked nothing. However, this past year, I have learned to trust God when life fell apart. Friends stepped in. Family prayed. I made it back. By some miracle of God, I made it back to Hong Kong.

Despite all the harsh casualties in my life of 2012, I have so much to be thankful for and so many great memories as well. It was this year I became so close with a core group of friends and new family that I wouldn't know what to do without. Bowling nights, movie days, card games and chill times are so special in my heart while I am here in Hong Kong. Late night phone conversations, singing with my friends, my first pumpkin carving (complete with me roasting the seeds) and picking up a special 4 yr old from daycare, being proposed to by a 17 yr old student, going on my first real roller coasters with a friend and being called TinkerBelle and White Chocolate by my best friends. I remember my Sunday school students debating me about football, quizzing me about work and drilling me about relationships. So many precious memories to cling to! And how could I even think of leaving out my epic Christmas here in Hong Kong. Flying back to my Asian home, where once I place my feet on the ground, all was right in my world again. The chance to speak with people from all over the world about the amazing Gift of Christmas, God's only Son and salvation and grace and love! To dance and sing and share what the center of my life is about. I remember thinking at the first outreach, "Oh my gosh, I'm doing what I love and God told me to do it!" How blessed it that?! To see a group of minority children accept Jesus as their Savior, joy on the face of a teenage girl after encouragement and to even speak with two Jehovah Witness ladies and share truth with them- All of this makes the year that much brighter. I was able to meet great people who became friends, who when they leave, I miss so much! I had my first dance with a precious 3 yr old missionary toddler, had a Kung Fu Panda movie night and endless international cuisine- I couldn't ask for more. New Years Eve was epic, with a BBQ, singing, cultural traditions and seeing my first floating Chinese lanterns! We rang in the new year with popping balloons and baby powder splashed on our faces (Fiji tradition) and campfire games until 4 am. A large group of us were treated the next day to a Hong Kong theme park (Ocean Park) where I was privileged to see a panda up close, and so many other exotic animals, ride a cable car (epic fail. Still hate cable cars.) a train and spend a day with great people. The night ended with a fireworks, fire and water display at the park that was dazzling to the eyes and warmth to the soul. It was the perfect way to break in the new year. Then finally, today, my first Hong Kong church service near Star Ferry. It was amazing to see the energy of the pastor and hear his heart for the coming year. The first Sunday of 2013. What a way to celebrate. Communion, Psalm 104 during worship and then a great message. This is going to be an epic year. I feel at rest in where God has me now and where He is leading me. I trust in Him and His plan for my life. This year will not be like the last. Nor will the next year be like this year. This is a growing year of putting my trust and faith in action. Also, to push further into what God has called me to. There is more, so much more in His will and plan. So welcome to the journal of my new journey. Every person has a path they must travel, lessons that must be learned and people that need to be met. It is a new year, a new path and a new journey. Please continue the prayers for myself and the people here and the ones leaving/returning. Prayer for health, safety, wisdom, guidance, patience and clarity. I love you all, you are in my prayers as well. As always, I love to hear from you and answer any questions that you may have. Stay in touch! <3

By the way, posted are some photos of my friends in America and here in Hong Kong, plus from outreaches as well. Enjoy!

-Ashley
YWAM Hong Kong
~*~Leave a Legacy that will Make a Difference in the World Around You.~*~

What Happens when SuperHeros AreReal

Hi everyone. I was just about to call it a night when I remembered this story I read the other day, and I just had to share. Otherwise, I would have forgotten.

I have often pondered the idea of superheros. In the movies it is played off as if they are a normal part of everyday life. People speak of them with respect, but casually. Now I do realize it is movies and that it is fantasy. Yet it always amazes me when it is played off as reality. And it got me thinking- what if Superman was really real? Or Batman? Spiderman? Any superhero who willingly risks his life to save the world?

You can get lost in movies like that. I can get lost in the Chronicles of Narnia even, wishing for a place like that, despite it's own obvious issues (White Witch, anyone?). However, there is always a cheerful sense that everything will always turn out alright. Superman always come back after being blasted by Kryptonite, Batman always defeats the Joker, and Spiderman always swings past danger just in time. Aslan always saves the day, even if it is at the last minute. There is always a good ending. And that is comforting. To know that there is someone looking out for you, no matter the chaos in the world. But what would happen if they were really REAL? And did the things in the movies in REAL life?

Nah~ would never happen.

Wait...

Could it?

Never! I am a logical person who knows that they Do Not Exist. Ever. Only in comic books can I escape from reality and see a person saving the day.

So imagine my surprise when I discovered that there does indeed a superhero. Not even just one! There is a whole group of them! They call themselves the "Rain City Superhero Movement", and they take their job seriously. One of the leaders, Ben Foder~ excuse me~ "Phoenix Jones", was recently arrested for pepper spraying a group of people that were in a bit of a rumble outside a bar. and HE got arrested.

Yep. That is correct. An actual SUPERHERO was arrested. Amazing.

Now, I understand the fact that you just can't go around pepper-spraying people. (Ladies, remember this.) YOU have to have been the one provoked. Apparently, they didn't turn on Phoenix Jones until he sprayed them. Oops. However, this did not deter the husband and father (not to mention superhero). He paid the $3800 bail bond and was quoted as going right back to, um, "work".

"I will continue to patrol with my team, probably tonight. ... In addition to being Phoenix Jones, I am also Ben Fodor, father and brother. I am just like everybody else. The only difference is that I try to stop crime in my neighborhood and everywhere else."

Impressive. He actually wants to make a difference, cares about making a difference, and he is doing it the best way he knows how. Now, most people I know, including myself, are not going to strap on a black/gold outfit, complete with a matching mask, and patrol the streets of our hoods at night. In fact, most of us get off the streets, lock the doors, turn out the lights, and pray that the people who would do us harm would stay away from us and ours. We don't care enough to start a movement. To put ourselves on the line for what is right. Can I criticize him for pepper spraying some drunk fighters? No. Why? Because he did more than I would have. A lot more. He is blessed he was arrested before someone pulled a knife on him. He could have died trying to prevent a fight. Was it worth it? To him it was.

Yes, it does seem like he did a little grandstanding, but then again, maybe he is trying to recruit more members to the 'force' by making it public. This world is a big place, and one small group cannot catch all the bad guys. These guys are not from the planet Krypton, they weren't bitten by a radioactive spider and they didn't have a fear of bats that drove them to make wings. No, instead they saw something going terribly wrong in their community and bothered to do something about it. Is it safe? No. Wise? Perhaps not. Is it the right thing to do? To the best of their ability. Ben Foder isn't a single guy with nothing to lose- he is a husband and father, he has people that count on him to make the right decisions. Because it could be their very lives depending on it.

I do not know how many of you have saw the movie Courageous the past week or so, but I can see a parallel in the two stories. The men in Courageous wanted to leave behind a living legacy for their kids to be able to follow after. The Rain City guys want the same. They want to preserve what is right, good and just- all that good stuff. They want a safer community, and they are not just sitting around and talking about it. Nothing worth anything is ever easy. You might be shunned at work for turning in a coworker. You might be fired for doing the right thing. You might lose a few friends, or all of them. Your family may never understand how you try to make the world a better place. You stand the chance to lose everything you have ever loved for the cause of justice. For a future you may never see and that no one may appreciate.

So what happens when superheros are real?

They make a difference.

Are you a superhero?

Are you making a difference?

I like this story and the morals behind it. Even though it seems silly at first (come on, adults in costume, saving a city? TELL me that doesn't stand out in a city full of business suits or urban streets with thugs.) I can't help but wish there was a branch in my own little town. Or the surrounding area. But then the question comes to mind- why am I waiting for someone to do what I know needs to be done? Just a thought. Leave a comment and let me know what you think of the story...and what should be done with this wonder group of humanity.

~*~Leave a Legacy That Will Make a Difference in the World Around You.~*~

A NewChapter

On Monday I start a new journey. A new job, with new people, and more importantly, new experiences. I will have the pleasure of being a substitute teacher at a Regional Youth Detention Center (RYDC), also lovingly referred to as juvie. Forget all the stereotypes you have heard and seen on CNN and Fox news, and the things you have read. Yes, it is a hard atmosphere. It can be oppressive, stressful, overwhelming and confusing. One day one of the residents will talk to you and want to make a change, and next day they are on lockdown for making threats against an officer. It can be depressing. Hopeless. Impossible.

I first came in contact with RYDC several months ago when my internship came up at college. I had the choice between assisting as a paralegal in a lawyers office or shadowing at RYDC. My first choice had been juvenile probation, but all the internship slots were filled. I had no doubt in my ability to do paralegal work- research is my strong suit, but on the inside I have no desire to be the secretary chased around the desk. I commend the ladies that go through that, but if it can be avoided, well.... You get the picture. My dad is close to retirement from federal corrections, so I was familiar the environment somewhat, but not so much hands on. With determination told my advisor I would like to go for the RYDC internship, to see if I could do it. I really didn't know if I could or not. And I wanted to find out.

On my first day I felt the difference from being outside the barbed wire, to being on the
inside. I was given the once over by every officer and staff member, and on each of their faces I could clearly see a disbelief. "This? She does not belong here, and she won't last a day." I could feel it, sense it and see it. Terry Bradshaw once said "When you've got something to prove, there's nothing greater than a challenge." He is correct, and I'm not the type to back down from a challenge like that. I have always believed in the idea of "making yourself indispensable". So from that day forward, I did my best to present myself as a strong, capable young woman who knew what she wanted from life.

When I left there that day, the stress hit me when I walked out of the gates. I had felt like an intruder in a strange place. But the weight I felt surprised me. I hadn't felt it on the inside. But outside, it became very clear. I left excited about returning, but unsure. U sure about my role and capabilities. My first Fay in the control room landed me a front row seat to when a juvenile lost his temper and flipped the tables in the rec room, throwing a chair through the window and almost cracking through to the control room where I was. It was close, but I was safe. My first initiation to the reality of the life the kids, and the officers, live everyday. The entire facility was tense after that, and those around me were concentrated on assuring me about safety. I wasn't concerned about that so much as I was concerned about how the action impacted the other kids. Turns out it can cause a dominoes effect. But that was the only issue of the day, thankfully.

The next day I entered more confident, greeted everyone and met a few more people. Within the week I was settled in the lifestyle of coming and going, interacting with the kids and how to talk to each one. I started to pick up the lingo and as odd as it seems, I felt like it was home. I had grown up in a volatile house since my dad did not know how to leave work at home. He had a hard life growing up, was a former Marine, and combine that with the stress and anger, it didn't make it a dream home to grow up in. Except in the case of RYDC, I had backup and I could leave at the end of the day and see the sun shine again. I had a chance to make a difference at juvie, whereas at home I was just trying to survive, and there was no escape.

By the end of my internship I had created many friendships and connections with the officers, staff and juveniles. I grew to love the kids and see them not as their rap sheet, but as kids who needed help. These guys and girls could very well be in my Sunday school class and my drama group that I teach. Seeing them behind the steel bars had moments of breaking my heart. But there weren't all sad moments. In fact, there are many fond memories that I continue to retell to bring back the joy of being there. I'll remember the kid who didn't want me to say his name (he didn't want anyone to say his name) and taught me how to play spades. The other one who was a sweetheart and taught me Tonk. The afternoons we all spent playing card games, and the Wii. The moments of heart searching talks with some of the kids. The day the guys acted out a scenario in class for an after class project and we all laughed till our sides hurt! So the times weren't all bad nor all good. At the end I had out in an application and hoped for the best. I visited once or twice afterwards when I had time around my college schedule, and was always warmly welcomed by the staff and juveniles. I missed them so much after I left, and I never knew if I would be able to return or not. I did hope.

While I was there the kids made it clear that they did not want me to come back as an officer, for whatever reason. They didn't mind in the least the idea of me being a teacher, counselor or probation officer. Especially the teacher idea. So this brings me to present day situation. Because of my complicated school schedule, I did not think I would even be able to take a different job other than my work study position at college. However, I was surprised to receive a call that the position as a professional educator and substitute teacher had come open, and that if I was interested, I could come in for the details. Thinking it would never work, I told them no but thank you because of my schedule. They insisted I think about it and giver them a call. I thought about it over the weekend and prayed. By Sunday night I thought that I should at least go see them and find out the details. If they could work around my crazy schedule, I'd take the job. If not, I'd keep my position at school until I graduated in January, and then resubmit my application at RYDC for any position they had open. Imagine my shock when I walked in Monday and as soon as I gave them my schedule they had worked my hours around it perfectly! I told them mi would need to see to a few things before I could give them a definite answer, and by the next morning I phoned and told them I accepted. Thus began the paperwork trail and red tape, drug tests and background check (because you know I had to have committed a felony within the past few months after my internship. *insert sarcasm*). Trips to RYDC to check on the status of my hiring, filling out file after file, until finally I can start. Even thought the trips were tiring after a while, I was grateful for the chance to recondition myself to the atmosphere. The desire to start grew stronger and the starting date couldn't be soon enough for me or them.

When this all started, months ago in Spring quarter, I did not know whether I was capable of handling myself there. Neither did anyone there. By the time left, most of them knew that I could, and more importantly, I knew I could too. I appreciate the chance to prove myself and I realize I will still be proving myself when I get there. I'm not your typical RYDC type- I'm 5 foot tall and petite. I don't look tough when you see me, I'm the girl-next-door. At first glance. And while that looks great in the normal world, it automatically demotes you in the correctional world. You HAVE to prove yourself. Not by forcing it. But by being yourself and showing the inner strength you have. Because no matter where you are in life, there will always be doubters. So no matter what happens in this new chapter in my life, I am excited to start and I have faith that I will make it all the way through. No matter what others think, say or do. Seems like a challenge to me. ;)

~*~Leave a Legacy That Will Affect the World Around You ~*~